The background for this blog, Part 1: Creating connections

17. November 2016

”As we start to step up, your ladder arrives.” (Rumi). I arrived in Hawaii yesterday, totally jetlaged and confused. A good time to reflect? I don’t know. I’m starting.

My name is Gunhild. I am a musician. I make a living from music, as insecure and low income as that is. I make niche music out of my own initiative. I work as a freelance musician/composer, and have part time job as a music teacher. I have not made the smart career choices, neither in the music world or elsewhere. Here I am, in the middle of my life, but I do not want to be a grown up. I guess I am following my dream. Or rather I am constantly uncomfortable. Always searching.

The later years I have done some big projects, and I got to travel. But still I have felt very uncomfortable. I’m not going to go into detail in this first blog post. Maybe later. But let’s just confirm that I’ve been uncomfortable. I feel helpless. Like the world is coming apart.

Many years ago, my grandmother used to ask me ”Why is it that you keep dragging this trumpet around all the time?”. And the question was sincere, not rhetorical. She was waiting for me to grow up, stop playing, do something useful with my life.

BIG questions have been bothering me lately. Like for instance ”Can I help create a better world via music?” I know that many musicians through the times have been asking that question, and many of them did really do great things. But who am I in comparison? Will I – me with my clumsiness and limited abilities – be able to do something good? Really good? For other people, not just for my own satisfaction? Can I make something that matters? How can I contribute? Or would I have been more useful to the world around me if I had become something else, like a lawyer or a nurse?

Now it is 2016 and I’ve been really lucky. I applied for a state grant and got accepted. For one year I can live from this grant, while I focus on the questions above. Yes, I am lucky. I am making some new works, for instance “The Duos Project”: Having duo sessions with a series of artists. My new electronical trumpet setup combined with constantly changing collaborators will open up for reflections about Me and The Other– Do I change in the meeting with The Other? Do I want to change? Am I really changing? As Tom Djll, one of the musicians I did sessions with, put it: “It is critical at this time that we artists make a stronger effort to connect and communicate with people who are really different from us”.

I was thinking: why not communicate with other people via sound? And after that thought struck me, curiousity took over, and I started making plans… I’ve decided to start a blog to document the small steps I make. I have made some small steps! For instance I had duo sessions with many new people. I’ve had some nice experiences. We will have too see if this leads me in the right direction.

The plan with the blog is to write about the meetings, for instance, and I will have to write about quite a few in retrospect. It is 3,5 months since my grant period started, and I am sitting here in Hawaii, waiting to recover from the long trip and looking forward to hang and play with people over here for the next few weeks.

Will tell you more in my next post!

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